Tuesday, June 25, 2013

TOP TEN TUESDAY: Don't Mess with the Prez

Surely there have been many presidents in movies, television, etc., but who were among the best? This past year we saw a great portrayal of Abraham Lincoln by Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln, and a few years further back we saw Josh Brolin as George W. Bush in Oliver Stone's W.. But what about the presidents that didn't ever exist outside of movies or TV? I'm going to count down the top 10 fictional presidents to ever grace our television screens. With this weekend's sure-to-be blockbuster White House Down, we have Jamie Foxx playing The President whose house is attacked and none other than Channing Tatum, will be coming to the rescue (at least that's what it looks like to me, simple enough). Think what you want of the lookalike movie of the year, obviously following the success of Olympus Has Fallen from earlier in 2013, but it could be a box office hit with the two actors featured on the poster. I have seen neither of this year's "White House gets attacked" films yet, but I would definitely take the pairing of Gerard Butler and Aaron Eckhart over Foxx and Tatum any day. But we are here to talk about the best turns as president, so let's get to it shall we? Please keep in mind that I can only put on the list what I know, and I'm sure there are countless presidential roles I've never seen that deserve to be on a list, or that I've seen and simply never committed to memory well enough. These are merely my ten favorite fictional presidents and the most memorable to me, but that doesn't mean they are the best acted or most unique in any way. But this is where I leave you all, the readers, with the responsibility of commenting on some of YOUR favorites below when you're done reading, so myself and others can broaden our presidential horizons! Also, please correct me if I'm wrong on any of these, because my memory does serve me incorrectly quite often.


10. Danny Glover as President Wilson - 2012 (2009)

Ironically enough, White House Down isn't the first time that director Roland Emmerich has tangoed with the President. In 2009's 2012, Danny Glover was the lackadaisical President Wilson. The funny thing is, I don't remember him being in the film all that much until closer to the end. Though, at the possibility of the Earth's ultimate destruction, who better to have in office than President "I'm Too Old For This Shit", right? However, I merely put this on here to illustrate a point, and that is how frequently Emmerich has had a fictional President in his movies. This leads me to one of my biggest pet peeves in film because his movies rarely vary in plot either, and I've freaking hated on this guy with a passion for a long time now. Most of his movies deal with national emergencies or even world-threatening scenarios in which the POTUS is almost always likely to get involved. That's my one and only dig at Emmerich, because this list is inspired by his new film after all (which doesn't look nearly as bad as his filmography does).


9. Killer Mike as President Taqu'il - Frisky Dingo (2006)

For those at a complete loss for who in the hell Taqu'il is, you probably haven't watched Adult Swim on Cartoon Network, at least when Frisky Dingo was on the air. A completely bizarre cartoon featuring a character named Killface that is in the business of world domination and eventually finding his place in the White House. At one point during the show's run, the famous rapper in the show Taqu'il decides to run for President and actually wins the race. Those who know the character, I probably need not explain the humor of it all, but it was truly one of the best moments in the show's run. President Taqu'il is just a personal favorite, because any of the episodes in which he was featured prominently were great.



8. Harry Shearer as President Schwarzenegger - The Simpsons Movie (2007)

More of an extended cameo (sort of) rather than an actual role in the film, this was one of the running jokes in The Simpsons Movie. Obviously, jokes of Schwarzenegger running for the presidency are not hard to find, but The Simpsons Movie found a very great way to do it and at a very appropriate time in our history. Though not voiced by Arnie himself, this gag in the film was one of the better parts of it's national and political commentary, of which The Simpsons have always been outstanding at doing. However, I don't feel the comedy of Arnold Schwarzenegger as the POTUS needs much more explaining, it was just funny! D'oh!



7. Benjamin Walker as President Lincoln - Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Those of you who chose to skip out on Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter last year really missed out on a treat. Obviously a campy horror mash-up, and adapted from the book of the same name by Seth Grahame-Smith, it did little to no justice to the actual history of Mr. Lincoln. What it did do though, was make an extremely interesting President equally as entertaining as he fought his way through hordes of vampires to find the master vampire that changed his life forever. The movie was a pleasant surprise at the box office, and actually didn't get too completely trashed for being silly, which was great to see as a horror fan. This is definitely a fictional take on a non-fictional President that you don't want to miss!


6. Cherry Jones as President Taylor - 24 (2001)

There were a lot of Presidents in and out of the White House doors during 24's eight season run on Fox, but President Taylor was by far one of the better ones running the country. The first POTUS that was a woman, she quickly became one of the classic characters during the show's run and presented great evidence that a woman as President wouldn't be half bad, even though she was fictional. President Taylor was one of those politicians that would almost always follow her heart in a decision, but remain true to the rules of being who she was to the country all the same, and she NEVER negotiated with terrorists. She wasn't the first President on 24 though to draw a lot of the audience's support, so much so that some would even suggest nominating her for President even though she's not actually real. Cherry Jones did an amazing job at portraying the United States' first female president, and I don't think there are many who could argue that she was one of the show's best characters.


5. Stephen Colbert as President Hathaway - Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)

A cameo at best, but Stephen Colbert was the voice behind President Hathaway in 2009's Monsters vs. Aliens. He had not just one shining moment in the film though, as any of the scenes Colbert's voice had the chance to grace were phenomenal. Colbert is already a funny guy, but when you add to that a PG-style sense of humor and as much silly as humanly possible, you end up with President Hathaway. During his communications with the invading aliens, he does an outrageously poor job in conveying his message by playing a tune on the keyboard. Also, during a meeting in a top secret bunker, he can be the one heard shrieking and screaming about everything except the actual scare on hand.


4. Harrison Ford as President Marshall - Air Force One (1997)

"GET OFF MY PLANE!" ... Need I say any more than that? Though I'm dropping Ford's President Marshall at #4 on the list, there simply isn't anyone on the same plane as this President. He did whatever it took to save his family. He did whatever it took to save his presidency. He did whatever it took to save his life, and the lives of others. He did whatever it took, is simply the theme of the story here. You just don't mess with Harrison Ford as the POTUS, no way no how. If you're on Han Solo's ship, the Millenium Falcon, and he asks you to get off his ship, you probably should. If you're on Indiana Jones' commandeered plane stolen from Nazis, and he asks you to get off, you probably should. If you're on Air Force One and President James Marshall wants you off of his plane, he's probably not going to ask. Get off his fucking plane already man. Seriously, get the fuck off of his plane, or you're going to end up getting tossed off against your will into the night sky with nothing to help you land but your own 10 tiny little fingers that will shatter on impact, and do you know why? President Marshall doesn't want you on his goddamn plane.


3. Terry Crews as President Camacho - Idiocracy (2006)

President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, the President that you hope one day never to see. Kind of... Back when Terry Crews wasn't one of The Expendables, he was turning in comedic gems like this one and trying to bang on some White Chicks. Crews is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to comedy, and it's a shame that he doesn't get the opportunity as often as he probably should to show off these chops of his. Even his short-lived reality show was funny as hell, and it's all because Crews is kind of like a Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson when it comes to on-screen presence. Combine the Macho Man, a commercial for Wal-Mart, and a roided-up gangster and you've got President Camacho. Let's hope it truly is 500 years before we see a POTUS on this level.


2. Bill Pullman as President Whitmore - Independence Day (1996)

I'll let Emmerich's work speak for itself, though in rare fashion, as this was one of the greatest speeches ever given by a President and it was in a movie. Bill Pullman was not be trifled with in Independence Day and he did whatever he damn well pleased, and/or needed to do to save our country, and our freedom. Let this, be President Whitmore's evidence for runner-up on this Top 10 Tuesday. 
"Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"


1. Dennis Haysbert as President Palmer - 24 (2001)

Now commonly known around the United States as the All State guy (before Mayhem showed up), it may be a little known fact that he was one of the greatest fictional Presidents ever to live. A man who trusted Jack Bauer, and only Jack Bauer with his safety and presidency at one time, is a man that can be trusted. A man who defied the odds, and did become the President even though his assassination was attempted. Haysbert not only had the acting skills to play 24's greatest political character ever, but he also had the perfect voice for the POTUS, and I mean P-E-R-F-E-C-T. I spoke of President Palmer for years after he left the show, and how I would actually vote for this character in real life if he were ever actually able to run for President. His moral compass unwavering, and his heart unfaltering, he was the true definition of a President in every sense of the word. I can't help but think that if there were a President Palmer in office today, that we would all be in good hands.

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